October is one of my favorite months. I love Halloween [duh] and Peanut’s birthday. I love the leaves changing colors and the crisp weather. I love that we get back into a routine, that we get to break of the sweatshirts, and that soon we will be sitting by the fire drinking hot cocoa.
Last year, Halloween changed my life. Very unexpectedly. By doing something slightly outside of the box. Though, truly, to this day with hindsight, I would absolutely make the same choices I did a year ago. Allowing my son to be a cartoon character for Halloween was not something I would second guess.
To celebrate my sweet shorties, to celebrate your sweet shorties, to celebrate the fun that is imaginative and creative play, I’m doing a monthlong series of photos that will hopefully make you smile. I also hope they will make you think. Does it matter if a girl dresses like Batman? Does it matter if a boy dresses like Daphne? Is my husband less of a man if he puts on a wig? Can we all just take a step back and see it what it is; a version of play that is not only ok, but even something to be cherished and celebrated? And what if a child wants to cross these lines on days other than Halloween? Does that threaten you? Is your argument against it that s/he will be bullied? Do we stifle our children in order to protect them? Or do we let them blossom and grow while advocating for change? Can we stop blaming the victim?
I am doing several mini - shoots over the next couple of weeks. I hope to have at least a few photos each week to post. I’m calling the project ‘Just B’ in part because of Boo, but also to convey that sometimes we need to just let ourselves be. Be fun, be funny, be happy, be unconcerned about what everyone else will think. Just be.
As a little sneak peak, here’s my first picture. Notice that Squirt is wearing a dinosaur shirt and clutching one of his toy trucks. And yet he also has a wand and tiara. And most importantly, he’s happy. Very, very happy.
[...] the pleasure of meeting her last August in San Diego. This year she’s done a photo project, Just B, in which she’s taken portraits of her kids and their friends having a nondenominational [...]
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This picture is priceless! This is exactly how I imagine I would look if I had a mother like you who can appreciate you for just being you .. happy as all get out! .. Way to go; I cannot stop laughing at this picture!
He is so damn cute; I’m no even kidding! I have a 20 month old son with this same kind of personality… All spunk, love and fun! I love your blog and shared your “Daphne” post last year and am so glad there are moms like you, like us in this, sometimes, cold and crazy world!
That’s not just happiness, that’s unabashed glee!
One of my favourite photos is of two of my boys, at age 4 1/2, in the “Princess Room” of the Play Museum we go to . They were totally thrilled with dressing up in princess dresses with magic wands, wigs, and all. They were equally thrilled with the construction site room, which they headed to as soon as they were done playing Princesses!
You are a true inspiration. I’m a lesbian and I wish I had a mother like you. Thank you- you give me, all of us, hope/
This photo reminds me of my 5-year-old son. He used all the girly dress-up stuff that my daughter shunned.
I’m so tired of the pigeon-holes that kids are placed in to. Shopping with my daughter was annoying this weekend because all the girl’s clothes is bedazzled to the extreme and she’s a tom-boy so we inevitably end up buying her clothes from the boy’s section to avoid that. I feel bad for her because she spots something that appeals to her and when we get up close she’s disappointed because it’s got sequins or sparkles or something.
October is my favorite month of the year too! My youngest daughter was Buzz Lightyear last year and a football player the year before. XO
The devilish boy in him…mixed with the tiara is pure awesomesauce!
I’m right there with you! One of my daughters spent several years wearing spider man underwear (they don’t make them for girls). She referred to the front flap as her ‘pocket’.
Love that smile! Love the project! If you need photos from others, I have a slight-tomboy-ish girl who’d be happy to participate.
And if not…keep doing what you’re doing, lady! We all respect you!
This very well may be the cutest picture I’ve seen all year.
my son…the aforementioned six year old who loves wearing tutus and my shoes and playing with his cars and soccer ball…just looked at this photos and said, “i like this one.” :) that’s my boy…
Hmm… Dinosaur shirt, toy truck, wand, tiara. Sounds like he’s got all bases covered!
Cute pic.
Squirt (and the rest of your shorties) are so very lucky to have you and the Detective as parents. Love that picture!
<3! You are a ground-breaker and I support you 1000%!
OMG I love this picture and the whole idea of what you are doing. I can’t wait to see what he ends up being for Halloween
So adorable! My youngest (now 26 yrs. old and a daddy himself) grew up with two older sisters. They liked to dress him up in their things. He was a good sport about it (mostly). I can remember the time he was in tights, a tutu, a nurses cap and carrying a fairy wand. It was cute and funny! It never even occurred to me to stop them from doing that.
He grew up fine. A sensitive young man, more so than his sisters to be honest, but still very much a “guy”. What I’m most impressed by is how amazing he is as a husband and a father. He blows me away with how he has thrown himself into the family life. It isn’t beneath him to participate fully in child care. He’s right there every step of the way, being a fully involved parent. I’m so very proud of him! I’d like all those junk child development “experts” to just try and tell me I shouldn’t have let my son play in girl’s clothes. Experts my ass. :)
Playing doesn’t bother me; in fact, the older I get, the more I see lack of play as a bigger problem. How a child dresses up, how they imitate what they see in their world, is simple self-expression in the moment. Normal children should (and usually do) express a wide range of behaviors in play-if you don’t know what I mean, make yourself a fly on the wall (DO NOT INTERFERE) when two 3-year-olds are playing. They’re all over the map! It’s adorable and funny as hell to listen to them (and watch them, if you can without interfering). The girls pretend to be daddies and the boys act like moms Then maybe they switch out to race car drivers and monsters. Or teachers and lawn-mower-men. Or something unrecognizable. Sometimes they squabble over who’s doing what. Then they play hungry hungry hippos-or star wars.
All of this “play” is just that-and it’s really fascinating to watch and listen to. I’m always amazed at the very small amount of conflict that exists, and the HUGE imaginations that little people come with. As a grandma, I’m re-living this experience with (I hope) the wisdom of a few years on my mommy-ing days. I can see that how children play has little to do with their adult selves and more to do with how social they are. If they happen to wind up “trying on a role” that eventually becomes a real life persona for them as adults, I predict that you will NEVER guess which one it is.
Too cute - that’s a “cheeeese” pic if ever I’ve seen one!