the word ‘retard’
the word ‘faggot’
using the word ‘gay’ as a bad word
bullying - duh
‘boys will be boys’ - that is a blanket statement that is often used to excuse bad behavior
mean girls - as referenced in ‘Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World’ by Rosalind Wiseman (this also includes ‘mean adults.’
nervous noises - like clicking pens or chewing nails
body odor - blech
any sort of bigoted talk - I’d rather someone get mad at me for speaking up then sitting there and giving the impression that it ok with me
bad sportsmanship
when people say they don’t have time to read - there is always time
toxic relationships
any sort of abuse to the elderly, the young, those that cannot stand up for themselves
littering
Really I believe if the world, specifically each individual, could be more compassionate we would all be a lot better off. If we could all take a moment and think things through from other perspectives, we could then be more respectful. It is a lot easier to care about someone when you put yourself in his/her shoes.
Can’t we all just get along? ;)
What don’t you tolerate?
*This list is not complete. I’m sure there are others that I am forgetting.
Love “nervous noises” — YES! I HATE THAT!
I concur as well. That’s a mighty fine list to live up to… Happy 4th!!
Wayne
Enola, PA
I love the list and the comments to the list. I both tolerate and appreciate everyone ;)
What I cannot tolerate is the concept of tolerance having become something positive in our minds and vocabulary. It is a lacklustre, non-participatory excuse of an attitude towards others. I abhor the fact that instead of trying to appreciate those who are different, embrace their differences and see what we can learn from them, we have resigned ourselves to tolerance and are even patting ourselves on the back for it.
I tolerate the person that didn’t wash and sat next to me on the bus, because I do not have the right to remove him. I tolerate my nasty boss, because I don’t want to get fired. I tolerate those that chew loudly, even though it really bothers me, cause who am I to tell them how to eat.
I do not tolerate - I appreciate - the person who is different to me and deserves my appreciation. I yearn to know about them, understand them and see if I can better myself in the process. I tolerate (or not), only those who are not worthy of appreciation.
Oh that made me wince. The idea that people think other people are not worthy of appreciation. Which of us has the knowledge required to dismiss a human being as worthless?
Thank you. I completely agree.
And that is why I like you!
I grew up being told by my parents, “How would you like it if that were you? How would that make you feel?” I now say that to my kids and everyone within earshot. Treat others as you want them to treat you. That’s good advice.
Pretty much all of the above, though I’m sure in my younger days I’ve been guilty of some of them myself. Thank God for growing up! I can remember when my son found his “voice” by screaming in a high pitched tone when he was playing. Both my husband and one of my sisters tried to say that he was “screaming like a girl” and I stopped them both before they could finish their sentences. If I’m not going to tolerate some bully on the playground saying something to my kid, why would I tolerate it at home? And even though he seems to be a BOY, through and through, both my husband and I try very hard not to assign gender roles to certain behaviors, such as “screaming like a girl”. Most of the people around me think I’m crazy, but I know I’m doing the right thing.
All of the above and animal abuse.
that is one thing I try not to dwell on as it angers me so much I could hurt someone.
Great list! My son is 19 months and I about cringed the other day when my husband said (in reference to our son and another toddler) “Boys will be boys”.
I’d also add other parents giving unsolicited parenting advice. If I ask, please share your wisdom. If I don’t, keep it to yourself. I was being lectured tonight by one of my oldest friends about letting my son learn from his mistakes and not being overprotective. Yo! Isn’t that what you’re doing to me? Back off and let me learn from my mistakes! Unless I’m doing harm to my child, give me some room to grow and learn.
Rudeness, laziness, intolerance and ignorance. Oh - and I do not suffer fools lightly.
Great list, and I like what a lot of your other readers have said as well! I’d like to add the word “lame” which is just as offensive to me as a disabled person when it’s used as a put-down as the word “gay” (as a put-down) is to me as a lesbian.
I would add:
Labels - I hate labeling people. We’re all just people.
Lying - Absolutely not tolerated
Great list!
About all of the above. The “N” word - no way. People who don’t get being nice, kind and polite - screamers, yellers, shovers, ME, ME, ME people…
I unfriended someone on Facebook who said something was “so gay.” Bitch justified it by saying that everyone in her generation does it. Yeah, that’s a good reason.
And I don’t appreciate it when someone basically tells me that I don’t get it because I’m an old fart. Thank you.
If this had been a person I was closer to, I’d have had more patience, but her attitude totally pissed me off, and I just thought, “I don’t need you in my life.”
I remember Ellen DeGeneres saying that compassion should be taught in schools (as a way to stop the bullying and suicides).
Lying! No matter what you do, own up to it. It only makes matters worse if you try to lie your way out of something. It is so much easier to admit what you have done, ask forgiveness and move on!
Telling someone that you’ve never been good at math.
We don’t take pride in being illiterate, why are we so happy to own up to innumeracy? It sends the message to children that some people just aren’t cut out for math and begins the cycle of anxiety and belief that they are one of those people.
Teachers whom dislike children
People who take advantage of giving people (i.e. donation scams)
being two faced, say what you say, be who you are, do what you do, ALL the time, everywhere!
cheaters…. not the “Pst, hey, whats # 4″ cheaters. But the “I promise to love you forever, or until
someone else shows me some attention” kind of cheaters ….. duuurrrty
INTOXICATED DRIVERS, that infuriates me. Why should everyone else have to be at risk because
of your irresponsiblity
And people who look down on others of different size, shape, race, gender, income status, ethnicity,
learning ability, sexual preference, religious background and SO on!
Im sure there are more!
I hate it when I hear people say that boys are easier to raise than girls. When a mother says that, it sets up her daughter for an adversarial relationship that she didn’t even know she was supposed to have. When your mother tells you from the time you’re small that when you turn 12 or 13 you’ll turn into a brat who will purposely do everything possible to do the opposite of what she says to do, she’ll most likely live up (or down) to that expectation. It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy that cheats girls out of the lovely relationship that they could have - and certainly need - with their mother through their adolescense.
My mom didn’t do it. She asserted to me throughout my young life that she expectd to have a great relationship with me, and we had just that all through my teen years into adulthood. I didn’t do it with my daughter, either, and we had a beautiful, open relationship through her adolescence that benefited us both.
We continue to short change our girls, people. Expect more and you’ll get more. We need to do better at raising girls with high self-esteem, high standards for themselves and actual goals for their adult lives that they can focus on instead of depending on boys to define them.
I recently had this conversation with a mother, so it’s on my mind. Thanks for the chance to vent.
And I wholeheartedly agree with your list!
YES!!!
Pretty much my list too
In addition to most of yours:
Fat bashing
Slut shaming
Racial/ethnic slurs
Gender generalizations
Longing for “the good old days”…..those days there were even more inequalities than now!
Animal cruelty
Commenting on others dietary choices
One-size-fits-all rules & laws…..what ever happened to common sense?
Loss of personal freedoms in the name of “national security”
Willful ignorance on the subject of global warming
Purposeful dumbing down of American society
Public policy based on religious dogma
Oh yeah, there’s more…but I’ll stop there!
agree with that list too!
This is a great message to the world. We need more people to stand up for tolerance and diversity. My list of intolerable acts include:
Disrespect: it’s like spitting in a persons face. People have to be respectful of each other
Bureaucracy: why can’t we all act like human beings and treat each other as such instead of just pushing papers and policies on each other
Able-bodyism: as the phrase goes “disabled not unable” just because a person has a disability doesn’t mean we should discriminate against them. People with disabilities are still people and should be treated as such.
That’s my sampling. Keep up the great work :)
Smacking lips while chewing food.
Squeaky shoes on toddlers (should be a criminal action!)
I can’t tolerate:
People who text while they’re driving.
Rush Limbaugh and all the other right wing ranters. They make a living out of spinning lies.
Managers who bully their staff.
Waiters in smart restaurants who think they’re superior.
Parents who smack their children (I know this is a controversial one, but I truly believe inflicting physical pain on children to teach them right from wrong, is just plain wrong).
All the magazines and ads that airbrush their models so the extent that most young girls feel they need to breast enlargement and plastic surgery before they’re 20.
“When people say they don’t have time to read - there is always time” Amen.
I cannot tolerate-
any sort of injustice visited upon a child.
someone telling me what I think.
or should think.
or will think.
or have felt.
Chewing with one’s mouth open. Paradoxically, I work with a subculture in which this is entirely okay to a fair percentage. Talk about a challenge in tolerance!
Public restrooms in which the previous user did not flush. #1 or #2, I will find another stall if at all possible.
People saying they don’t have time to stay in touch. Same as reading — if it means anything to you, you will find the time in large or small ways. It’s the digital age, people!
Dirty dishes going in the sink when the dishwasher is empty and RIGHT THERE.
People signing up to volunteer and then having no follow through or accountability.
Fox News and it’s gross irresponsibility to our culture.
I guess that’s it for now. There must be more! :-D