Nerdy Apple Bottom

CW: If I make it to Costco tomorrow, anyone need anything? (I’m talking to you for sure, John.)

Michelle: I need produce. Can I go?
Jennifer: I’ll send you my list.
Jennifer: Or should I brave it with the Hubby tomorrow.
Kari: I want the triple chocolate ghiradelli brownie mix.
John: ah yes mam, thank you for asking, i could use a couple of things:
1) the soul of a white whale, they store it by the cottage cheese because it has to stay cold and resembles cottage cheese
2) a bakers dozen of the 4′ hot dogs
3)200lbs of pizza… rolls, I’m having a function, you’re not invited
4) 7.5 tons of that the guilt free ice cream, i know it only comes in the 3 ton size but if you could get them to put 1/6 of the 3rd container into resealable qrt size sandwich bags it will save me some time.
5) a bamboo spatula, like panda’s use
6) 43 cartons of eggs, preferably farm raised, you might have to ask for those special
7) a goats head, has to be fresh, if its not fresh i don’t want it, are we clear?
8) the internal workings of a Swiss coo coo clock
9) gravity
10) some more bugle boy shorts, i like the ones you got me the last time, that was a sweet surprise
11) former first lady Nancy Reagan’s book “The art of mastering sudoku”
12) some soup, you pick.
that’s all, thanks again, drive safe.
Tara: ‎@John. U are my shopping list HERO! Do you think you might come up with one more list? Things for us mamas to buy stuck at home with children for YET another snow day! I know we could all use your guidance!

And yes, John, I would like to know what would be on your list of us mamas stuck at home with the shorties? And does anyone else have any useful suggestions? How about a fantastic or unusual Costco purchase?