An alert Twitterer let me know that ABC’s What Would You Do? was doing a story regarding gender stereotypes. Here’s a link to an article and preview. The preview doesn’t show the part I found most interesting. Not sure if the whole segment is available online yet or not. The show aired Friday night. They mentioned this blog and showed Boo’s picture.
Anyway, the show had an actor wearing a princess dress go shopping in a toy store with his actor dad that was totally cool with it. They then had an actor play the disapproving stranger. The vast majority of people let that guy have it. Makes me happy that strangers are willing to go to back for children.
What would you have done?
Comments
http://www.hulu.com/watch/209287/what-would-you-do-fri-jan-21-2011
Found it! :)
At the end of the day they are children, they wear what feels good, play with whomever looks fun, and say what they are honestly thinking. This is what is joyful about them, they are innocent and loving and adults are what make them change into that judgemental stranger!
@Joe It’s “two” cents. I don’t even know what “to cents” means. Besides, why is everyone focused on the “gay” factor of this blog. No one knows if Boo is or isn’t gay and she isn’t *trying to *make him gay. If he is it will have to do with hormones and personality not whether or not he was put on a John Deere tractor instead of a Barbie jeep. Honestly, it’s pretty disgusting to me that ANYTHING a child does would make people start to think about what kind of sex life they will have. Seriously?!
Anyway, Kudos to the mother who stood for what matters, her kids and their rights to be individuals.
If it were me seeing someone do that, no bones about it, I would let them have it. I don’t have children of my own, but my boyfriend (who I’ve been with for 3 years and hope to one day have children with) and I both agree that gender should not be defined by such trivial matters as toys and clothing colour. If my future son wants to play with Barbies or my daughter with trucks, then who cares as long as they’re healthy and happy?
No bones about it you would let them have it oohhh sign me up baby for the bone that is. Just thought I would drop my gay to cents worth. I think the whole world should be gay and hopefully with mothers like you thats the way we’re heading. CHOO CHOO
Delurker here….! I read your blog back in Nov and never realized, until now, it went “viral”…that sounds almost like an epidemic..hehheh.
I am incredulous (and guess I am also naive) that ADULTS still “think” as ignorantly as they do in 2011. The “Religeous Righteous” shall always want to keep the earth flat I suppose. Sadly, They will always be lurking around, spewing their stupidity.
I applaud your backbone..your kids are fortunate.
My SONS, born in the early 70′s, both played with anatomically-correct dolls (we ordered from Germany), they had Creative-Plaything’s stove, sink, oven, they dressed up as princess and fairies, painted their nails and toes….baked with us, rode horses, played with match box cars and Tonka trucks too….and now are two VERY well-adjusted, intelligent, and successful young men.
They are heterosexual but their sexual preferences would not/do not matter a whit. That they are happy, and kind humans to the planet and it’s occupants is really all that ever mattered(s) to their Dad and I.
Stay the healthy course! LD
Hey NAB,
I finally got around to watching that episode. I think it was really great that so many women stepped up to side with the father of the boy. I find it interesting the show was just about a boy wanting a “girl toy ” but didn’t have a girl wanting a “boy toy.” my partner stated how it’s interesting that the stigma about boys vs. girls is just rediculous. They showed your son on his costume along with another little boy and I say good for you toyou and your husband (and the patents of the other boy) for letting your children be who they are and play with what they want.
I saw that show. My husband and I had a good talk about it.
When our son was 2, I bought him a couple of dolls-one in pink, one in blue. We were expecting a baby, so I thought he’d like to have his own “baby.” They even had little strollers. He ignored the dolls and used the strollers to wheel around his toy trucks and blocks. But 5 years later, he will happily play princess or My Little Pony with his sister, just as she will play trucks with him.
The one that bothered me was when Fisher Price started marketing their Little People line all in pink, as though the original yellow school bus or blue family car weren’t good enough for girls.
My toddler son had so few pink things (just out of coincidence/habit/circumstance) that when he saw pink in public (little girl’s backpack at the Dr.’s office waiting room for example), he thought he HAD TO HAVE IT. Made me realize that a lack of pink in his life made pink sort of miraculous-what IS this? Wow-must be special! So I’ve brought more pink into the house (cups, paci’s, whatever) so he can stop wanting to steal pink stuff from the other kids! seems to have worked-now he wants everything other kids have equally.
My husband and I were in the store the other day and were appalled at how sex-oriented the toy marketing is. The cars and planes and toy tools all have boys on the boxes, and the vacuum cleaner and the easy bake oven have girls on the boxes. Some toys were “neutral gender”, like a toy fort, and had boys and girls on the box. Why not have a boy and a girl on each box?
Like, there was a pink vacuum cleaner and a blue vacuum cleaner. What is the point of making a blue vacuum cleaner if you’re just going to put a girl wearing pink on the box?
I’ve noticed that kids sewing machines only come in pink. i don’t know why this stuff has to be gendered, anyway. Our adult things (sewing machines, ovens, etc) are mostly neutral-so should theirs.
Congratulations on more press and more support for Boo and other wonderful children like him! Truly — and my poor husband can vouch for this — I would have let the guy (the disapproving guy) HAVE IT! Publicly, loudly and in front of the child. I’m not a fan of arguing in front of children, but kids who receive public, in-your-face disapproval need to see grown-ups defend them assertively and proudly, so they understand that the naysayers aren’t the only ones who are strong and vocal.
Wow. I sound like a grumpus. :) The point is, kudos to ABC, kudos to the people who stood up for the child, and I would’ve been one of them!
Full episode here:
http://abc.go.com/watch/what-would-you-do/SH5555951/VD55107567/what-would-you-do-121
Boo is famous! His picture is shown about 28 minutes into the show!!
Thank you for posting the link to the programme.
Never ever occurred to me that there was anything odd about either of my boys wanting dolls or barbies. I bought my 1 year old grandson one the other day. Everyone needs something to care for and cuddle. And while I agree the stereo type of Southerners probably would hold true, feel the need to point out that I am indeed Southern, so not all of us are whack jobs!
:)
As for the girl/boy toy at fast food places, have written numerous letters over that. Irritates the hell out of me!
I saw that episode on Friday night and I was thrilled that they mentioned you in the story. I loved the results of the people standing up to disapproving man. I would speak up considering my son loves Princesses and I would hate for anyone to be mean to a child just because they like something.
When my son turned 4 in September all he wanted for his birthday was a Sleeping Beauty dress from the Disney store as it was reversible, pink one side and blue the other. He had a ball, running around the garden with all his friends, most of whom are girls, bouncing up and down on the bouncy castle. He couldn’t wait to show off his dress and crown. A few of the parents got into the spirit of it and gave him play jewels and tiaras, even a few wands were produced. The only person who raised an eyebrow was, wait for it, MY MOTHER. I was stunned. But I was ready, as I always am when he’s dressing up in front of people. She said ‘I’m all for letting him play but do you have to encourage it?’ I retorted, ‘What’s wrong with it? It’s what he asked for, would you rather I ignore that and get him something else he didn’t want for fear of turning him gay or something? And so what if he does end up gay! I’d rather he spend his life knowing that so long as he is a decent person his father and I will always love and support him no matter what than have him feel repressed in any way. Besides, when you’re a boy, what’s fun about dressing up as a fireman or doctor? They can’t fly or do magic or look sparkly and pretty. The play outfits for ‘boy’s lead the imagination nowhere unless you’re a super hero, then you get to play ‘beat up the bad guy’ and use your weapons and powers. In my mind that’s encouraging a sort of violent nature. No thank you, my little man in his pink dress and my lipstick pretending to be a fairy godmother who can cast invisible spells is far more my bag’. The look on her face was priceless.
Brava for turning the point on your mother!
I saw the show it was a good episode. My best friends son has only had girls to play with in the first 4 years of his life and he plays barbies and house and i do have to say if he wanted to wear a dress his mom wouldn’t say a thing. Kids are how they are, if they are gay they aren’t going to TURN gay they are BORN gay, dressing up in “girl” clothes or playing with “girl” toys isn’t going to determine a boys sexual preference just as a girl playing with “boy” toys or dressing up in “boys” clothes wont determine her sexual preference. I think people’s judgments on children are RIDICULOUS. Both of my older daughters are half black, when my oldest was about 11 months we were at a grocery store and she waved at this little old white lady and touched her hand, the little lady jerked her hand away and said “how dare you set your daughter up for failure and judgment” i told her “well lady looks to me like your the one judging her she isn’t judging you, maybe you could learn something from her”. KUDOS to you and your young son, he should hold his head high and when he is older he is going to look back and thank you for supporting him to the fullest.
I remember being scolded in kindergarten for wanting to play with the trucks instead of the play kitchen. That was in 1980, and I find it rather pathetic it’s still the practice of our society in 2011. We are still assigning gender roles. Kudos to you for letting your son express himself.
I had my first and only child 4 years ago. He is absolutely wonderful, sweet, smart… and autistic. I never realized how hard our society is on children until it happened to us at a grocery store. People will go over the line with comments to me, or even to him. It’s like the child’s feelings don’t matter at all.
I recently saw a boy of about 2 years old show interest in a doll in a store. His grandmother who was with him said “You don’t want that. That’s for girls.” I didn’t say anything, but I thought he’s just a baby, let him play with dolls if he wants!
Here is the web address for the clip on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dao7h6XhzkM
My son got a stroller for Christmas because he’s always fighting with his sister over hers. He has a doll and loves bags like his big sister and doesn’t mind wearing the crowns she puts on him.
Gender identity is more than just what you wear or play with as a child. I’m so glad this issue is coming up now and people are opening their eyes to it and being more accepting of kids just being who they are.
Thanks for the youtube link Amanda. Posted it on Facebook. Very cool reactions. And as the poster notes, it wouldn’t necessarily play out the same way in the south or some other places…
My 5 year old daughter had her first happy meal at an airport. They asked: “Girl or boy?” I said: “Why does it matter?” And they looked at me like I had 3 heads. I said, “Can’t you just tell me the toy options instead?” She happily chose the Bakugan.
I still have to write a letter to that place - it’s RIDICULOUS!
I would have been all over the meanie dad. ALL over his A$$.
[...] What Would You Do? « Nerdy Apple Bottom She's a big fan of Dora, so those were a given, BUT–she has two cousins, ages 4 and 2, both of whom are also fans of Toy Story and Bat Man. She wanted both! However, neither came in girl's style training pants. [...]
I would absolutely defend them. Not me, then who?
I am so glad that attention is being paid to this. But I am concerned about showing Boo’s picture. Did they have your permission? Or is it now in the public domain? That would interest me.
Anyway, you have done everyone a great service by telling Boo’s story and your wonderful attitude. I have never understood why little girls could be tomboys, but little boys could never be allowed to play with dolls or dress up. Children grow and change and experiment. That is how they find out who they are. Whatever they decide is fine and must be celebrated. Thank you for your stories about Boo. You have made a difference.
Did you know they were going to share your photo?
It is a very interesting episode. I always see the ads for the show, but never record it. This one was really eye opening. People are naturally supportive, which is terrific.
I like to think if I would step up if what happened to you happened in front of me in my son’s class or to my son. Sometimes I am strong and assertive and sometimes I am shy and try to avoid confrontation. I am an elementary school teacher and I know I could stand up to a child who was bullying another child, but I don’t know if I could stand up to a parent who was harassing a child or another parent. What I would do is bring it up to the principal.
My son is 20 months and for Christmas his gift from us was a Corolle boy doll, a stroller and two outfits. My parents got him a grocery cart and fake food. He also got some CAT vehicles and books. He plays with dolls, dinosaurs, farm animals, blocks, paint, markers, and anything else he can get his hands on in his classroom. One of his favorite activities is pushing a stroller around on the playground. I am confident he is going to be a good daddy and I don’t care if he shares the parenting with a woman or a man.
You rock. Keep doing what you are doing.
My son last year made himself a pair of fairy wings. He wore them to a reading with Irvine Welsh (author), downtown, on public transport. Then out to dinner with me later. All responses were positive.
He used to have very long hair. Blonde, wavy hair that fell halfway down his back. Only at age 4 did we start to shorten it, and this year (age 6) it’s been a ‘standard’ collar length, though he says he’ll grow it again after summer. With pale skin, and long eyelashes he was often mistaken for a girl (even with requisite ‘boy’s clothes’ and ‘boy’s colours’). It caused a lot of bother to some people, and I received more than a few lectures regarding a haircut.
Even now, if I mention thinking of letting it grow again, I will often hear ‘Oh no, it’s time for him to look like a boy.’ FFS
I worked in a shoe store with a big emphasis on the children’s section so I saw a lot of little kids looking to get the opposite gender of shoes/backpacks/accessories. For the most part, people had no problem letting their little girls get “boy” things but I saw a lot of arguing when boys wanted “girl” things. My advice to the parents was always to let kids be kids-they want to emulate someone they look up to, whether it be a parent, a sibling, or someone on tv. So boys want shoes like their sisters or their favorite tv character. My son wanted sparkly dora slippers when he was little and the only reason he didn’t get them was because they didn’t come in his size :p by the next time his feet grew and he went to pick out slippers, he was into spiderman. I liked to remind parents that kids will change and grow and their interests will change-is the battle worth it?
Hey,
the episode is available online through HULU and most likely through ABCnews.com. I believe in accepting and embracing diversity. In the end the whole thing is a phase anyway I think for most children. It’s not like the atypical gender preferences are going to somehow affect their social development automatically.
I did find the episode online — kind of stumbled upon it, I think. I clicked on the small screen below and to the left of the preview screen your link took me to (after watching the preview). That took me to the ABC website and while whatever it was was loading, I noticed a link along the menu at the top of the page which said “Watch Full Episodes.” I clicked to that page and scrolled down until I saw “What Would You Do?” When you click on that one, it shows the episodes by air date.
I hope I would speak up — not in a way that appeared bossy or presumptuous, but perhaps saying something like, “You know, my young boy really loves a whole mix of things — everything from trucks and trains to dolls and dresses. He’s just figuring out life and having fun! It doesn’t bother me! Now’s his chance to experiment, free from peer pressure (at least at home).”
You seem to be the inspiration for this one.
I am very outspoken, I would defend the child and stand up to the stranger. I walk both sides of the line and refuse to align myself with any group. I have views that are very conservative, and those that are very liberal. I THINK. Park your shopping cart in the wheelchair ramp of a handicapped spot and I’ll speak up. Those blue lines are NOT for carts and carry a fine! Call the child names and I’ll speak up. Put something in your pocket that is not yours and you will hear me. Dump trash, decide aginast something in your cart and just leave it on the next endcap or be disrespectful to another, let your kid race or roll around a store endangering others and I’ll step in.
While I just don’t get the weird haircuts on kids, especially little ones, and it kills me to see children grossly overweight, I’ll mumble to myself and stay out of it. A simple, single smack on the ass should be a parent’s perogative when a child is out of control. Hit the kid in the face and you are likely to get smacked back by me. Kid in a dress? LOL I have adult friends who have been know to do it. Now if you MADE the kid do it and HE is obviously not agreeable…well…we need to talk and I’ll do most of it
what would you do- I couldn’t find the specific episode on line but we record it regularly so i will be sure to watch it and write back… I really hope that the people got a lot of folks to respond positively and stand up for them….
I hope I’d have defended the dad & his son. We recently found gender stereotypes when shopping for my granddaughter’s first pair(s) of underpants. She’s a big fan of Dora, so those were a given, BUT-she has two cousins, ages 4 and 2, both of whom are also fans of Toy Story and Bat Man. She wanted both! However, neither came in girl’s style training pants. Since this was only the first day of her new adventure in potty use, we opted for the girlwear, but we’ve decided that the next trip to Target, she can choose whatever her heart desires. If she likes the boy’s briefs, so be it.
Barbara - 15+ years ago when my daughter potty trained she insisted she had to wear unders just like her brothers. So I let her. As far as I was concerned she had on unders and that was what really mattered. (That and the fact she kept them clean and dry.) She still likes to wear some of the men’s boxers - especially during that time. She says they just feel less tight when she feels bloated.
Awesome! I am so glad people let the person have it! Makes me optimistic we are headed in the right direction. And I absolutely would’ve let them have it too. :)
Hi, you can find it on YouTube - search for “what would you do boy wants doll”, and it will come up. I am really happy to see that strangers stood up to the bullying actor who was giving the child a hard time. One woman stated to the actor “I think YOU’RE BULLYING him, and you’re an *ADULT*”….Bravo!