Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:
- My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
- He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
- Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
- My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
- Boo’s best friend is a little girl
- Boo has an older sister
- Boo spends most of his time with me.
- I am a woman.
- I am Boo’s mother, not you.
So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
kid is definately gay, and you are sadistic to allow him to dress like a girl. shame on you. he will hate you in his later years for the torment he will go through that you could have stopped.
wicked woman, you ARE.
yur son is not gay! hes 5 years old! idiot!
Ok, I’m a 29 year old father of a 4 year old boy. I stumbled upon this post researching my son’s obsession with “girlie” things. He watches a lot of shows centered around girls like ICarly and Victorious. I have to admit that I actually enjoy both of the shows quite a bit. He now watches a show called “Winx Club”, and often acts out show scenarios(The whole show is about fairies). I’m not really worried. No one says anything about a tomboy right? Besides he’s only 4.
As far as him turning out gay, I can honestly say I wouldn’t be thrilled. At the same time I wouldn’t love him any less or discourage him from doing what he loves.
BUT! Why put your son in a situation that he was second guessing? Why post a picture on the internet where it will remain FOREVER(Although the chances of people knowing who it is are slim). Guess what, kids are cruel. While I agree he needs to stand up for himself and do what he loves, he shouldn’t be forced into the situation. If he was “balls out” for being Daphne, good for him…but it didn’t sound like that.
I get what you are saying, and you have every right to let your son do whatever you think is best for him. I would never feel the need to say anything about a mother allowing this to her or her son’s face. Especially not to her son.
In the interest of being honest, I do think it is a bit irresponsible of you to tell him that he wouldn’t be made fun of. He’s a boy, dressed like a girl. An entire nations sense of comedy was built on men dressed like women (I’m looking at you, England). Let’s face it. This is not the norm. Does it make it bad? No. Does it make him gay (if that even mattered)? Absolutely not. If you honestly didn’t believe that anything would be said, then I don’t think you made a mistake. BUT, if you knew that there was a real chance (And I have to believe that you at least suspected it) that he would be teased or looked at negatively, and you reassured him despite his fears, then you really need to think about your parenting skills. Your son is not a political statement. I think it’s great that you don’t care what he turns out to be, but to let him be humiliated just to show how enlightened you are is sick. Just as sick as a grownup teasing him.
Thank goodness for the occasional common sense comment. Too many here are getting emotional over how cute the kid looks and also trying to push their agendas on how they believe the world should be. Well, regardless of what you want the world to be like, you don’t put a 5 year old in a position to be ridiculed. YOU SHIELD HIM FROM HARM.
It’s so stupid to say things like “She’s teaching him to stand up for….” blah, blah, blah. He’s 5 years old you clowns. That is a bunch of nonsense. You make political statements all you want as an adult. But you NEVER put a kid in that position.
Even worse, the Mom parades her kid on the internet, putting up a picture that he could very easily be embarrassed by in the future. No one cares what all you cross dressers think. You are an adult now, and you can push your own agenda…But kids need to be protected till they are old enough to make their own decisions.
Sorry this happened to your son. Those moms were totally out of line.
Hello,
My name is Hervé (Harvey) I’m 38 years old, french, Strasbourg - Alsace (Europe). When i was 6/7 years od i did cross-dressing into girl (sister’s clothes) and get out in the street… My father cought me when i was finish to cross the street. I feel trans gender (Bi gender must be right) and homosexual (boys and may be girls not in heterosexual relations —- i’ve girl mind in a boy body)
I did my coming out in june, my mother thank that i was gay when i was 6-10 years old because i’have more girls friends than boy friends.
Recently, i did it again (cross dressing) and i feel that the boy mind in my body still a live but less strong that girl mind.
I’m angry by the fact that girls can wear girls and boys clothes in society AND boys can’t do the same.
Sincerly yours,
Hervé (Harvey) GAYET
well that is an interesting subject and I kinda like the way you stand in this situation. But there are a few things that bother me in that story.
First, let me state my position on one important thing. I’m not against gays, or whatever orientation people have. I admit I have a bit of a problem understanding it but I am in no position to juge. Nor is anybody for that matter.
But here’s where I have some concern. Twice your son seemed to question is own choice. Knowing well that he would be looked at and probably juged. Seems to me like he wanted to back down. That was HIS instinct so why did you encourage him? If he was sure about his choice, if he really wanted to be Daphne, well then it’s fine. But if he had doubts… then I just don’t know.
Please understand, I’m not making a point here as to what is wrong or not. Geez, when I was 6, being a child to a single mom, I was roaming through her cosmetic stuff, putting on nail polish, trying on perfumes, the works… I was trying what my mom was trying. Never turned out to be gay, quite the contrary, I’m quite a women lover!
My point is simply that Boo felt that maybe his choice was wrong and if he really wanted to change his mind well then he should have. Instincts. Sometimes there is nothing wrong in following them.
Now… if your son his gay. So freakin what? I trust that you will support him, you’ve already proved that. But now you realise that it could be a long and difficult road. Even in 2011, this society has some taboos. However, there are more and more people that will not juge.
[...] Outing My Kids August 20, 2011 By Amy Leave a Comment No, they’re not gay. That’s been done. And then some. I’m over it, and I’m sure you are [...]
I can’t see what’s the big deal. When I was 4 I dressed like The Zorro and I didn’t became a lesbian because of that, I just loved Zorro. I think is great you’re supporting your kid like that.
Kisses to you and your son!
Found a poem that I thought you might like:
Bedecked
By Victoria Redel
Tell me it’s wrong the scarlet nails my son sports or the toy
store rings he clusters four jewels to each finger.
He’s bedecked. I see the other mothers looking at the star
choker, the rhinestone strand he fastens over a sock.
Sometimes I help him find sparkle clip-ons when he says
sticker earrings look too fake.
Tell me I should teach him it’s wrong to love the glitter that a
boy’s only a boy who’d love a truck with a remote that revs,
battery slamming into corners or Hot Wheels loop-de-looping
off tracks into the tub.
Then tell me it’s fine—really—maybe even a good thing—a boy
who’s got some girl to him,
and I’m right for the days he wears a pink shirt on the seesaw in
the park.
Tell me what you need to tell me but keep far away from my son
who still loves a beautiful thing not for what it means—
this way or that—but for the way facets set off prisms and
prisms spin up everywhere
and from his own jeweled body he’s cast rainbows—made every
shining true color.
Now try to tell me—man or woman—your heart was ever once
that brave.
[...] weekend: getting to meet (and hug!) Sarah, of the Nerdy Apple Bottom blog (and the writer of the most tear-jerking post I’ve ever read). What a beautiful - not to mention hilarious - [...]
Hi. I am very proud of you even though I don’t know you. I hope I would have reacted the same and stood up for my son. Bravo!
[...] căruia îi place să se îmbrace în personaje feminine (povestea din perspectiva mamei o găsiți aici) nu știam nimic despre Cheryl Kilodavis și fiul ei, Dyson (dar aveam să aflu de la Anaïs). [...]
this is probably the best article i have read in a while. the audacity of people is ridiculous sometimes. my son is only 2 but he carries around a barbie 24/7. my husband and i don’t really care. for one he’s trying to be like his big sister and 2, what does it really matter anyway?! some family members have given us the side eye and even tried to scold our son for it but they forget at the end of the day we are his parents and we see no harm in it. even IF that “made him gay” so what? it’s not the end of the world. thanks for such a great article and i think his costume is quite cute =)
Wow! I just stumbled upon this post randomly. First of all, Good for You! What a sad and ridiculous situation. My first thought about the whole thing is that maybe the rude mothers think very poorly of gay people and all things related because this attitude is supported by the Bible itself and their opinions and reactions stem from that. While that makes it easier for me to understand their reactions, I think they are completely unacceptable. It still shocks me that people are so attached to judging gay people in such ways. If you don’t like homosexuality, don’t be one. Beyond that, it’s none of your business.
And while there is evidence that suggests that boys who are drawn to “girl things” as children have higher chances of being gay, that is besides the point. One boy’s halloween costume shouldn’t even bring such things into discussion. He just dressed as what he wanted to be. Our culture has such a strong stigma attached to males doing things traditionally labelled as female. And that’s just not fair. It’s so outdated. As a child, my mom ran a day care from our home. There were a couple VERY boyish boys that attended for quite a few years and they would have a blast dressing up in the girl dress up clothes and walking around in my mom’s heels. Us girls would also dress as boys. As far as I know, we all grew up just fine and none of us are gay.
Finally, now we know where the bullies come from. The kids that torment others know nothing better because they have seen their mothers and fathers bullying other parents, children and probably themselves.
So thank you for being the kind of mom we should all be. It’s not your job to judge and repress your child like our culture would like to. He will suffer enough of that later in life, he needs someone at home who supports him UNCONDITIONALLY, which you clearly do. :)
[...] can wear mohawks, but not skirts (might be a problem for this mom that let her son wear a “girl” costume for Halloween). Girls can wear skirts, but not [...]
[...] so we headed for the pool. I met (and subsequently hung out with and loved) the person who wrote this very famous post, and I know you all understand how much that meant to [...]
[...] This story has taken over the internet, and I have to say I’m glad this mother has received so much support. [...]
Bravo!!! For all of you that know how important this is in your bones, and just do it, Bravo!!.
For the rest, the key word for a life time of mental health, or, without it, a risk of a lifetime of serious pain is: Attachment. That is, providing a young child with Acceptance really no matter what they are doing and with love they can feel in there bones.
Results from missing this step can include depression, anxiety, suicide, borderline personality disorder, and so on.
Safety tip: siting on the cell phone (or shopping, or …) instead of being with your young child (the therapist says younger then 5, 2, even), when you are with them can lead to attachment problems.
Don’t say with your actions and your (lack of) attention that the child is not deserving of care. Kids are really really smart at picking up distance, and have very limited ideas to make sense of nonsense.
My boy, when he was four or five, insisted for more than six months that he wanted to be his sister for Halloween. He never waivered. When the day came, he picked out one of her pretty dresses, put on one of her pretty necklaces, her shoes, and her hair bands.
Some people reacted much the same to your boy. The ones who truly count understood the point of a child’s imagination. Kudos to you, Mom. My son is gay. Or he’s not. And I am his mother and I don’t care. And if anyone has a problem with that, he/she can stand in line with the both of us.
My boy, when he was four or five, insisted for more than six months that he wanted to be his sister for Halloween. He never waievered. When the day came, he picked out one of her pretty dresses, put on one of her pretty necklaces, her shoes, and her hair bands.
Some people reacted much the same to your boy. The ones who truly count understood the point of a child’s imagination. Kudos to you, Mom. My son is gay. Or he’s not. And I am his mother and I don’t care. And if anyone has a problem with that, he/she can stand in line with the both of us.
I can only laugh at people like Michael & Sam - your responses are those excatly given by mothers AB AND C. Why can’t this child be who he wants to be. last timei checked it’s a free country & he has every right in the world to dress as Daphne for halloween. I don’t see girls dressing as Pirates being treated this way!
I think your a great mum & that dealing witht the situation the way you did is great! i hope Boo see’s just how strong you are & he thrives on this.. this will give him the confidence to be who he wants to be - as he should be able to without being ridiculed (sp?).
Also wanted to note.. a year later & STILL people are commenting on this.. Just goes to show how judgmental some people are!
xx Kisses from Australia xx
If you don’t want anymore Gay people in the world, straight people need to stop having babies. They are the ones giving birth to “these” mutants!
BTW I think you are a great mother and your son is so blessed to have you as his mum.The world needs more people like you, and less of the hate filled, ignorant homophobes.
Who are these idiots telling Sam to “read the story”? Just because he / she came away with a different lesson doesn’t mean they didn’t read it. There are too many liberal, gay activists commenting on this post, that’s the problem. You can’t get a reasonable point of view here.
It is ENTIRELY reasonable to question the mother’s judgment in posting this pic of her son and labeling the way she did. Any man that is being honest with himself will see that this is just a bad idea - It is future ridicule waiting to happen.
I don’t care about your Utopian views about what the world should be like - oooh tolerance, open-mindedness…rubbish. We live in the real world, and that boy is going to hear about this. And while all the defiant gays may feel like they wouldn’t mind the ridicule, the boy had no say in this. He has done nothing to deserve being put in this situation.
Mommy is patting herself on the back and these gay activist / feminist commenters are here cosigning this stupidity. Like there’s anything outstanding about a mother loving her son. Go look at Somalia right now where mothers are walking miles and risking death to get their kids some food. You clowns are here congratulating this mom for putting her little boy on front street just because it suits your stupid, liberal agenda. SHAME ON YOU.
Your kid is five years old. How could you possibly conclude that your five year old male child is gay? Did you ever think about what this posted picture of him will do to his life in the future? In two years? In ten years? On the internet for everyone to see? Did it ever cross your mind that you were violating his rights rather than other parents violating his rights “to be gay”?
This is offensive, to parents, to children, and to any, I am sorry, EVERY other person who disregards sexual orientation.
Stop posting pictures of your “gay” son, attempting to seem like a good, accepting parent and start being a good parent.
Try actually reading the page before commenting because you’re offending my eyes.
Yeah, stupid - try reading the story.
You nailed it, Sam. The mother is much more interested in using her son as a prop to parade her political correctness than in his welfare. Her judgment is deplorable, and she seriously needs to grow up. This whole thing disgusts me.
dear sam you are such a moron if you would have bothered to read the story you would have seen she is very supportive of her boy(children) and if he or any one of them so happened to come to his or their parents one day and said that he or they were gay, they would love him or them no matter what .
unlike you who probably would throw your kid out in the street if one of your children was gay. A typical of a person that would do that to their own child.
Ditto to so many of the wonderful replies above!! Thanks for sharing your story and pic! Ur little boy looks soooo cool dressed as Daphne and u sound like a pretty awesome mum. All the best guys! xo
I dressed in my brother’s football uniform for one Halloween when I was 10 or 11 and it was the best one I can remember. Never had so much fun. Of course, as some commentators have said, if a girl dresses like a boy that seems to be okay. What a bunch of crap! Kids are kids, costumes are costumes and sexuality (present or future) has nothing to do with it. The only thing I believe you didn’t do that you should have done is report the big mouth moms to school officials.
- pah
(at least I’m not the only one commenting on this _now_)
There’s all this talk about accepting your son even if he turns out to be gay (super cool!), but what if he turns out to be a woman? Same type of position on the issue or is being transgendered crossing the line?
Thank you, Dyre. I find it really ignorant when people assume that a child dressing in ‘girl’s clothing’ makes the child gay. The clothes someone wears have nothing to do with sexual orientation. Gender and sexual orientation are not the same thing. Fine if the child ends up liking people of the same gender and/or identifying as gay or bi. But what if your ‘son’ is actually your daughter? Stop assuming that this makes your child gay, which would be fine, and make sure your child knows it’s okay to have any gender, even if it’s not the same one your child was assigned.
You go mom! You are not the only one that goes through this. I was in the mall with my kids and their friends (my teenage posse) and a man 20 years younger than me that is gay. My posse is a mixed bag of kids in various arrays of punk, goth, everyday, and outlandish, all are great kids. They were in a group by a store, I am one of the shortest people in the group, so not easily seen. The mall guard started towards them (the were not being inappropriate) and was going to say something when I stepped out, he all of a sudden veered off and away. People always judge on looks. I think it is wonderful you support the uniqueness that is your son. Don’t let anyone tell him any different. P.S. My daughter (strait) is one of the founding members of her high schools gay/straight alliance. She supports her friends who are different from her and loves their individuality.
pillar cat:
don’t think she was doing it to gain attention - she was just being creative. i would have done the same thing. but honestly, everyone is so caught up on the title. blogging IS very much like journalism. the title is SUPPOSE to catch people’s attention. she immediately also followed up with her real thoughts on the matter. that’s what’s more important.
only an idiot would take a title of anything these days as face-value rather then read first and then decide late.
oh… maybe that’s why you’re so upset.
you’re one of those idiots.
It’s nice that you’re open minded but guess what? Your son is not gay, or straight, he’s f*cking 5. I’d be surprised if he even knew what a penis is for.
Taking a picture of him in a dress and labeling him as gay in big bold red letters to show everyone online what a “cool parent” you are is completely messed up. Kids tend to do silly things and wear ridiculous outfits, it doesn’t mean anything, they’re just kids.
My mom took pictures of me swimming naked in a public pool at 5. I didn’t become an exhibitionist when I grew up and I’m still ashamed when she shows the pictures to other people, I’m sure he’ll feel the same way about this, now that you have embarrassed him in front of everyone to make yourself look “cool” and “fine with it”. So special, you.
It’s nice that you’re open minded but guess what? Your son is not gay, or straight, he’s fucking 5. I’d be surprised if he even knew what a penis is for.
Taking a picture of him in a dress and labeling him as gay to show everyone online what a “cool parent” you are is completely messed up. Kids tend to do silly things and wear ridiculous outfits, it doesn’t mean anything, they’re just kids.
My mom took pictures of me swimming naked in a public pool at 5. I didn’t become an exhibitionist when I grew up and I’m still ashamed when she shows the pictures to other people, I’m sure he’ll feel the same way about this, now that you have embarrassed him in front of everyone to make yourself look “cool” and “fine with it”. So special, you.
i hate people who critisize people just because they like the same sex it’s horrible i mean it’s still love and for god sakes he is just a child it is very ignorant that he got critisized just for wanting to be Daphne i totally support you as a mother and i also support your son i am christian and i support gay rights all the way if it’s wrong to like the same sex then i don’t want to be right i am bi myself and i absolutely hate people that freak out if two girls want to hold hands and i am glad you aren’t one of those people it’s sad because people that support gays (especially parents) are extremely hard to find so thankyou so much for breaking away from the pack that makes me very happy
I am so inspried by you!! You sound like an amazing mother.
I would like to say that though I never plan on being a mother because I have neither the patience nor the opportunity to due to health issues, if I ever do have the opportunity I hope that I have half the cahones you do because this is inspirational. Your little boy deserves a mother like you and so does every other child, let your little man be who he is because the moment they try to change him he will remember that you love him the way he is and wont become the person they want him to. Congratulations on being one of the best mothers in the world.
Thank you! I second “Best Mom in the World!” And thank you for being strong and human and open and real and good for your son. Tom, 50, Glad in the strongest way your boy has you!
“Free to be You and Me”, the book, record/cd, etc, has great great open parenting messages
You are the kind of mother God intended. You’re children are very lucky to have a mother like you. A mother that will teach them the diversity of the world and to be open to anything that comes. Thank you for posting this…you make me proud.
You are beyond inspiring! Bravo.
Even though I am neither a mom, female, grown-up ( in the eyes of many, a 19 y.o is not grown up), or parent, I totally agree! Although I agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about what is acceptable, forcing their opinions on someone in a way that exposes, shames, or potentially humiliates a person about their choices is just as bad as bullying. besides, why should they care anyway, its not their kid.
BRAVO!!!!!
When I grow up, I hope to be a mom just like you :)
Seriously, good job, mama. I like your style!
(I’m kidding about the growing up part, though. I’m 42 with nine kids of my own…so I think that makes me an official grown-up!)
But I still want to be like you. Because your attitude rocks.
Like most all moms, all I want is for my kids to be HAPPY, to love others, to love themselves, and to be treated kindly and with respect just as I expect them to treat others with kindness and respect. If any of my children turn out to be gay, that’s not going to change my love for them one bit. Well, it might just make me love them a bit extra because I know that they will be subjected to ridicule and prejudice, and what parents wishes that on their kid? But yet, it happens. I have a child with a brain injury and she has been made fun of, has be pre-judged on her abilities simply by the way she moves her body or how she talks, she’s been left out and has had her feelings hurt….so I know the pain that us moms feel when our children are treated “less than” — and it sucks. Big time. And while it’s a fact that I can’t control how others treat her, what I can do is make sure that my child knows that she is loved unconditionally by our family, and that we’ve got her back no matter what.
I think moms AB&C acted horribly. I’m a Christian (Catholic) and I’m so sad to hear that someone who is supposed to be representing Christ acted that way towards your little boy. Wow, you know? Just WOW.
Keep on keeping on…you seem to be doing a great job:)
Katrina
They All Call Me Mom
I stumbled on this article through Tumblr, and I have to say that you are probably the coolest mom ever. Seriously, I love that you are open minded enough to let your son be whoever he is and not put limitations on him. When I was little, I LOVED Scooby Doo and, like your son, Daphne. Your son picked a great character to be :)
As for Mom A, B and C…screw ‘em. It’s none of their business. Would people rather have their children feel like their parents’ love is conditional or know that their parents have their backs no matter what? You are obviously a great mom, and I hope others out there learn from your example.
Come on, the kid is five years old. This is a little ridiulous don’t you think? It’s good to hear that you will love your child no matter what, I think that’s every parent’s duty, but posting this is not “brave” and neither was wearing that costume. Kids do silly things all the time, and should be able to wear what they want on halloween, it should not be a big deal either way. That being said, those mothers are entitled to their opinions as well, and it seems to me this is more about making some sort of statement for you than it is about your son. Ultimately the most significant outcome of of this whole thing is that youve posted a picture of your child on the internet that is likely to embarrass him later in life. Good thing once you put something out there it is eay to take down….oh wait.
That’s right….the kid is only 5 years old. And yet, in his 5 short years, he has already learned to be scared of people’s judgment, and opinions. He has already learned to fear adversity..AND HE ISN”T EVEN IN SCHOOL YET! That is what this is about. Of all the world’s problems, and all life’s worries, Mother’s (those meant to be accepting, and caring, and love unconditionally) are going to make a HALLOWEEN costume an issue. It was brave to post this. To address what is a ridiculous situation. Have you thought of what this mother is going to have to face now every day with her son from the other mother’s (and subsequently THEIR children, as children hear everything, and pick up on all nuances) who have obviously made up their mind to judge this family wrongly. She will always be scrutinized, always be questioned. And it started with a costume. Of course everyone is entitled to an opinion, however, NO ONE is entitled to diminish a child’s self image, or confidence. If they had wanted to say something, it should have been outside the hearing of her son AND other children. This may embarrass her son later in life, when he is old enough to understand and deal with the embarrassment. However, it is clear, that he has been already put into an embarrassing situation by other people, and will question himself from it. Bravo to son for rocking the costume, and BRAVO to mom, for being the mom we all want to be. For standing up for your son, and for your beliefs and to adversity! Good luck to you and your children!
I love this! I agree completely, some moms (A, B and C) can be completely out of line. This won’t ever stop - I’m in college now and still feel like I’m being judged by all of my friend’s parents on a daily basis. Boys who dress like girls on halloween now are the biggest hit at the party! I also agree with your philosophy on raising your son, keep doing what you’re doing and pay no mind to those judgmental fun ruiners!
I randomly came across your website and blog, cleverly titled “My Son is Gay” which of course caught my attention. All I can say is wow. Is a little boy dressed like a girl “weird”? Perhaps. But since when was “weird” bad, furthermore, perhaps we just think it’s “weird” because too many people are walking around trying to please everyone else rather than making themselves happy.
I think your little boy sounds like one of the bravest guys I know and you’re equally brave for posting this and speaking on the issue, which is an important one to say the least. Those moms ought to be ashamed of themselves, you on the other hand deserve a pat on the back. People think they have unconditional love, not realizing that they put conditions on EVERYTHING, including something as silly as what a kid gets to be on the one day of the year when you should get to be WHATEVER the heck you want.
Kudos to you both. Gayety to you and your son…