Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:
- My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
- He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
- Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
- My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
- Boo’s best friend is a little girl
- Boo has an older sister
- Boo spends most of his time with me.
- I am a woman.
- I am Boo’s mother, not you.
So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
your son looks great as daphne, my daughter (whos 3) looks great as the karate kid, as long as our babies are happy and we are there for them then whats the problem.
Health happy kids, thats the main thing.
There is some seriously fu~~ed up people on here with there negative attitudes, get a life and focus on the health and happiness of your own kids xxxxx
much love emma x
You are giving your children self-confidence and open-minded-ness - the best lessons a parent can give.
And a great “most embarrassing moment” story.
YOU SUCK AS A MOTHER & YOUR SON WILL HATE YOU LATER FOR ALLOWING HIM TO DRESS LIKE THIS ESPECIALLY IF THESES PICTURES STAY VIRAL
Hi, I’m a teen and I saw this story and was completely TOUCHED by it! What a great mother you are. I was in the car a couple days ago with my best friend and she joked to her mom “yeah mom, I’m a lesbian” and her mom got ANGRY and said “Don’t even joke about that. That’s wrong and I don’t want you even flirting with the idea” and I just looked at her in disgust thinking, she is one of the most Christian people I know and she went on to say that she would not speak to her daughter and consider her a “disgrace to the family” if she were to be gay. How wrong is that? You would love your daughter less because she doesn’t like men? Really? She even said that God DOESN’T love homosexual people. No matter what ANYONE says, I believe God loves all and hooray for you for sharing this with us. You are an incredible mother and I’m glad you’re not oppressing your children like so many others have wrongly done before. You and your son are going to have a wonderful relationship. And kudos to him for being so brave!!!!! Lastly, those women should know to have a little respect and keep their comments to themselves.
Imagine the embarrassment this young man will have to endure:
College parties: “Wait! Did I just hear that your name’s Boo! Holy crap everyone, it’s Boo!”
Job Interview: “Mr. Boo, this really isn’t relevant to the interview, and I assure you it will have no bearing on our decision; but we are all dying to know, are you THE Boo?”
WOW! Way to ruin a child by publishing his story all over the internet. At least now he can Google himself in 13 years and see all the fuss that was made over him. Wonder whose business it will be then? Wonder if he will appreciate what has been said or be digusted by it. Non the less it should never have been published because it is a violation of his trust and privacy. If you want to talk about your own sexuality, go ahead. But to talk about the innocent child who will one day grow up and the choice he made when he was 5 years old, which he may or may not regret has been permanently etched on the pages of the internet about him. Including a picture. How will this look if he turns out straight and as he grows people keep pulling this up and printing the picture you have published of him. Why not take a picture of yourself naked and send it to all your neighbors. Thats about how it would make him feel if you are wrong about him. He will wonder why didn’t you guide him or protect him as was your instinct in the first place. But you thought it was better to accept your childs choices. Not all choices, just this one. Wonder why? Why do I, a complete stranger know this about your child. I shouldn’t know this at all. I only know it because you have an agenda and are using your child to promote it. You should have protected your childs privacy. Some children have killed themselves because of bullying. I hope you have not created a situation for your child that he cannot bare in the future that would cause him to take his own life. Your responsibility is to first protect your child. You failed. It is out there and it is because of you. Stop now. Don’t post anything further about your child. Post about yourself if you want. Leave the innocent out of it. Maybe if you move and people won’t recognize him and bring it up, it may dissolve and he will be OK. I hope so. All it takes is one person to bring it up year after year to follow him throughout his life and pressure him to do something horrible. Yes you can blame yourself, if you don’t take steps to correct your actions and protect your son. No matter what your son turns out to be when he grows up, he didn’t deserve this. I wish him the best. And I hope this is completely forgotten. If he be straight or Gay or any variation in between, it is non of the worlds business. So stop it. I encourage everyone who reads this to be strong enough to let my post be the end of it. PROTECT the child. If you care, please don’t post anymore and let this boy grow without this to follow him.
your my hero! I wish more mom’s were like you!
are you my aunt? lol
Good job Momma! It’s up to us to let our little guys (and girls) be who they want to be - and to help them stand up against those people who are ignorant, cruel, and bigoted. I applaud you!
your son is really lucky to have you as his mama! You go girl! Kick butt and take names. Those mom’s needed you to make them start to wake up and think. Might take some time, but some day they may have to come round and see all sides and expand and relax.
You son is amazing and so so “WOW!” in in his cool costume! Tell him I said so and that I am a mom with a boy who loved to play dress up with (older) his sister. He would have loved my daughter’s “drag bag” a glittered sequined cardboard box full of boas old prom dresses, wigs, make up, fake eyelashes, gloves and high healed shoes gifted to her by my bestest friend, a drag queen with the heart the size of Georgia. My son is named after him, and my kids learned to love all people no matter what walk of life they choose. He is in heaven dressing to his hearts content and we miss him.
xo
@Marlon: Can you please clarify for me. I don’t understand; is Daphne a hooker, a Nazi, or a KKK member? Since you support gay marriage, I’m sure you didn’t intend to group homosexuals with Nazis and Klan members.
LIKE LIKE LIKE! You have an EXCELLENT point! :)
[...] My son is gay [...]
I can’t tell you how moved I was by this story. I actually teared up. Rock on.
I’m a happily married, lifelong heterosexual crossdresser who’s been trying to find his place in this stupid intolerant world. And it’s that intolerant world that concerns me about this post. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re the best mother in the universe on almost every point here and I’m glad you love your son no matter what… but did you really need to post that photo on the internet?
I know you’re proud and you want to stand up and shout to the world that this is okay, but the truth is, most people DON’T think this is okay. It sucks, but it’s the reality we live with. Whether this is just a silly cildhood phase or an indication of lifelong crossdressing or homosexulaity is irrelevant. This photo is on the internet forever now, and it could come back to haunt your son. I was bullied just for being creative and artistic. I’d hate to see your son bullied because somebody found this photo online.
I’m not a parent (and I wouldn’t be a good one) so please don’t think I’m questioning your skills. Again, you sound like the most amazing mother in the universe. But please think twice before you post photos like this in the future. I’ve posted photos online of myself in drag, but It was an adult who could carefully weigh the consequences. A five-year-old cannot.
I think its so silly that people gave your son crap for his choice in halloween costume! Just cuze he is a boy doesn’t mean he can’t dress as his favorite cartoon character for one day, and its a ridiculous assumption that doing so makes him gay, hes only 5 and probably doesn’t even understand what that means. My son is 7, and he gets jealous when his sister gets attention when i spend time with her combing her hair or doing her nail polish, so one day he asked if he could have nail polish too. If they’re around girls they are probably gonna want to do things that the girls are doing, not cuze they are gay, but just because they wanna have fun too. Just like my daughter wanted to wear her brothers superman costume after he was done with it. I did warn my son that if he wanted to have his nails painted that his friends might not understand, and he might get teased at school, and he decided that it was good enough for him to just have the time with us helping me with his sister, which is totally fine. They just want what they are interested in, and enjoy what the people close to them in life enjoy along with them. Good for you for letting him wear what he likes :).
You’re such a wonderful mother. I wish I had someone like you beside me when I was a gay kid who didnt understand why people were telling that just because I was always playing with girls.
im so sick of idiots claiming homophobia.there is no fear,simply a species tired of its homosexual predatory members being allowed to exist.we should find every homosexual and burn them alive,then move on to the imbeciles who tolerate them.look ho wmuch progress the planet made when hitler had the faggots gassed.this country needs its own final solution,govt,cops,queers and ignorant women would be first to go.tired of you devuiants and youre whatever is contrary to normal is good way of thinking.what kind of cunt would make their 5 yr old a point of ridicule on purpose?maybe yiou want him to be gay for your own stupid agenda.idk,i think cps shouldve stepped in and stripped you of your rights.you are a worthless mother
I feel sorry for you, Todd. You have a lot of hate in your heart, and I wish you the best.
I’m dismayed at the thought that you are probably procreating like crazy (That’s a stereotype about the behavior of people living with a severe educational deficit). A fact-based generalization, on the other hand, is that bigotry is inversely proportional to education. Educate your kids people! It’s a good measure against subjecting the rest of us to more Todds…
Todd has a mastery of the English language. Oh well. I need somebody to ask if I’d like to supersize my combo meal.
TROLL. Not even worth responding to. Let him lead his backwoods- redneck life and teach his cousin-brother-sons his ignorant ways. We won’t win the fight for acceptance by attacking the close-minded idiots of the world, but by ploughing through the hate powerfully, stifling the neanderthal voices with the strength of our pure, blind love
Todd’s mastery of the English language is daunting. Oh well, I guess I need somebody to ask if I want to super-size my combo meal…
how many parents don’t put there foot down when the kid wants to go as something scary???? They get to be what they want for one night, so let them. And really how many parents really say no when there kid wants to be death or an axe murderer, but here we are worring about what path a 5 year old is on when he wants to be Daphine. How is it society has a problem with this, but it’s okay to go out driping with fake blood and a mask with bugged out eyes, and a fake knife.
I have to say that this world has gone mad. Whatever happened to boundaries? The fact that the title for a five year old is ‘my son is gay’ is outrageous. What five year old knows anything about sexuality? Additionally, what if he wanted to dress as a hooker? Parents jobs are not to indulge their kids in every whim they have. Their job is to raise productive young adults. He doesn’t understand that it is not acceptable for a 5 year old to have on high heels, a purse and a orange female wig. If he is of consenting age and wants to do it, then that is fine but to think that other five year olds are mature enough to understand his decision and not pick on him is unrealistic. Your job is to protect your children. You failed miserably in this instance. What if he wanted to be a Nazi because he thought the uniform was cool? Or a Klan Member? Where do you draw the line? All these parents who think she is brave do not know what bravery is. Bravery is doing the hard thing and the hard thing would have been to say ‘no’ and this is why but you can be Shaggy, Freddie or Scooby…hey even Scrappy Doo was available.
This has nothing to do with homophobia because I support gay marriage. This has EVERYTHING to do with raising this kid. Hope to God his friends do not find that picture when he is older.
Hear here!
Calm down. You’re saying that being a girl is as bad as being a Nazi. Are you serious? As she said, Boo just wanted to be a character from his favorite show, and his best friend was dressing as the same character. Yeah, his best friend is a girl so no one will look at her strange, but so what? He’s doing what any other child wants to (and needs to) do, and that is make strong social relationships and do something that makes them happy. What was making Boo happy was dressing like a cartoon. Not a Nazi or a hooker or a Klan member. Get over it and quit making ridiculous comparisons.
He wanted to dress as Daphne because he watched scooby doo. He wouldn’t dress as a klan member or as a nazi because he was not exposed to it. No mother would expose their kids to such negative influence. Scooby Doo is not a negative influence. There is such a stigma about boys wanting to dress as girls, but girls who are tomboys is totally acceptable (as it should be), but boys wanting to wear “girl” clothes is fine. He didn’t want to be anything else, he wanted to be Daphne. I was a man for halloween one year, I am not gay. Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to be the opposite sex for a day? She is not giving in to his every whim by this ONE example. I am positive that she would draw the line where it is appropriate, but this is no where near the line. At all.
You are right this has nothing to do with homophobia. It has everything to do with Transphobia. Transphobia is a discrimination against transsexualism and transsexual or transgender people. The fact that these women and you freaked over a minuscule thing as dressing up as the opposite sex, in this case a boy dressing up as a girl character. How many times have I seen a girl in boys clothing? Many and no body says a word about it. But dress a little boy up in girl clothing, it is a complete different story. The whole idea that dressing a boy up as a female heroine could be seen as abuse or as bad as dressing the kid up as a Nazi or a Klan member is freaking hilarious.
What an ignorant comment, this little boys mother deserves praise not your poorly thought out ridicule.
Her son DIDN’T ask to be a hooker or a Nazi, all he wanted to be was one of his favorite characters from a cartoon. So don’t discuss “drawing lines” when all your doing is twisting his choice of costume into something warped by comparing it to extremes.
As for the “you support gay marriage” bit, here’s the thing, transgender people and transvestites are a part of the GLBT organization as well. Do you honestly think your any kind of supporter or ally if you single out the parts you “approve” of and ignore/belittle the rest.
Emma, I love you.
Posting your son on the Net.. isnt the best thing too do now that his face is posted.. and wearing a costume inwhich a girl would wear… having billions of people all over the world see this.. is just insulting too your.. Did he want this posted all over the world I doubt it…he was nervous and scared that people were going to make fun of him going to his preschool.. as there were mother already making rude and insulting remarks… Just think how many people now are reacting to this probably thinking you silly to want to even post that.. thats just plain ridiculous to do…
Everyones saying how great of a mother you are for doing that.. but really think of the BIGGER picture.. everyone around the world… your sons probably humiliated…Maybe not!! it great that you stuck up for your child and all.. But posting him on the net is just WRONG!…
I think you missed the point. She is proud of her son. She loves her son. She is passionate about this issue and wanted to share it. That is her right. She thinks he looks adorable in his costume and she is right, he rocked it! People post pictures of their children ALL the time. He was really excited about wearing his costume, and he’s obviously very happy in this picture. Unless it is on a kiddie porn site, there is nothing wrong with it, and I find a hard time understanding your logic that it is wrong, when you leave no explanation as to “why” it is wrong.
As to people ridiculing him, there are SO many people supporting him and his mother. The internet allows for a larger audience and more people to agree with her. Not everyone will, but that’s ok. All that matters to this woman is her son, and how he feels about himself.
@Scuzz (and like minded): By suggesting a different costume you are being complicit in the homophobic sentiment that is the basis for Boo, or any other child in this situation, being ridiculed. I understand the urge to protect our children, but I think this mother’s approach is the right one. If you realize that gay-hating is wrong, don’t force your child to adhere to the societal norms that derive from it. Doing the right thing is rarely easy. Boo is on his way to being a strong person who will speak, and act, according to his beliefs because his Mum stood up for his right to be a child.
LOL! A cute little Daphne he is! I am sorry to hear that you got flak from other low consciousness level adults. A five year old wanting to dress up as a character doesn’t mean he’s gay. Even if he is, he’ll be able to be helped. But for now, let him have fun! Thanks for posting!
I hope she is proud of herself & is enjoying the circus!! that is what she wanted, is to have traffic on this site & gain followers on twttier. get real folks if this was about what she says in the end it would have been a non issue. for most of us would not have jumped to the implication of the gay card, so called Christian stab & bullying. she is the one that brought that up. even if she said this is what she witnessed. I have had many things said to me even in front of my children. we made sure they walked away a lil’ then we the adults handled it.
yes, adults put their foot in their mouths. well I hope she never done that at anytime. yep, it’s not about bullying. she implied it was then we are to take her word for it. you guys are defending her like she really did the right thing by blogging this before the matter was really settled. it seems to me these are topics that are a lot on her mind already. & media doesn’t help. but that still does not give her or any parent to say they are standing up for their child while the whole time going on air/net hanging him out by the labels or allowing the posters to imply he’s on the path of being gay or could be. “he’s too young for this”. she made the bigger deal by her self righteous blog. if you notice she egged people to ask for more in her first blog so this tells me she wanted more responses not real true insight to a misunderstanding.
OR….she could just be venting. I know when I’m pissed about something, I just need to vent. Maybe feeling like some people feel the same will give her a feeling of validity in feeling this herself. Maybe many of the adults where she lives feels this way and she doesn’t have an anyone to discuss this with so she goes to the internet. You can’t assume she is just hogging the limelight, you should never assume anything about anyone.
While I see nothing wrong with letting your son dress up as Daphne for Halloween if he wanted to, I am concerned that you didn’t listen to him when he had second thoughts. The child obviously knew that he was heading into a critical situation and reconsidered his decision. Coaxing him to go forward showed a lack of respect for his judgment. If you’re going to allow him to make his choices, shouldn’t you have let him decide whether to go into the school dressed as Daphne? I understand that you were trying to support him, but the ridicule he felt may prevent him from feeling comfortable with who he is in the future. One thing is for sure…..it is none of my damn business, but since it was put out here on the web, i felt obliged to comment.
His nervousness was only due to an assumption of others’ making fun of him, not because he didn’t want to wear it. Also, he was nervous at the last minute, which makes it pretty hard to whip up another costume last minute. Had he not worn one, he would have been made fun of, and the mothers would have had just as much snooty things to say.
You’re son sounds like a wonderful, confident, lucky little boy to have a great mum such as you! All children deserve parents that love them unconditionally. Just because children enjoy dressing up, doesn’t make them automatically gay… and so what if they are!? They’re still your babies! Any one who would say otherwise, or make comments such as Mothers A, B, & C should be ashamed of themselves, they’re old enough to know that bullying is despicable. What kind of example do they set for their children?
You’re an inspiration. Your story has reached as far as the Netherlands and we’re proud of you here. Thank you.
You’re son sounds like a wonderful, confident, lucky little boy to have a great mum such as you! All children deserve parents that love them unconditionally. Just because children enjoy dressing up, doesn’t make them automatically gay… and so what if they are!? They’re still your babies! Any one who would say otherwise, or make comments such as Mothers A, B, & C should be ashamed of themselves, they’re old enough to know that bullying is despicable.
This story is kind of upsetting… it’s upsetting to me because I know that what this mother is doing is right and the parents who don’t agree are wrong. It’s unfortunate that we live in a world full of fear, ignorance and ridicule. Honestly though, this reaction had to have been expected… I do believe it’s time for a change… the change however should not put these little children at risk of ridicule but the parents need to take responsibility and stand up for what is right! First of all, the childcare facility is run by a church… Halloween or not, religion doesn’t agree with any kind of behavior the remotely resembles anything cross gendered or homo-sexual. Although this costume may have nothing to do with that, dressing a little boy up as a girly girl is obviously going to have its consequences. If this is not taken into account and done anyway, then you’re going to have a very confused little boy. Secondly, why put this little boy in this position? I understand that he wants to dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo but taking into consideration everything that would happen, why would his parents allow this? The other children probably don’t care now, but when this child hits grade school, they may remember that he dressed up as a girl named Daphne with a huge red wig for halloween in preschool and totally ruin his childhood experience. And if he does turn out to be homo-sexual, that will definitely make his childhood harder that it would be for him without this ridicule from an experience he had in preschool where his mother let him dress up as a flaming red head. It’s too bad that the opposing parents felt the way they did and were not as encouraging as Daphne’s mother. However, the aftermath of this situation may or may not have life altering consequences for this child and I’m sorry that the entire world is not more accepting… I personally would have suggested a different costume…
You do realize that Halloween (All Hallows Eve) is a pagan night of celebration and that the catholic church adopted All Saint’s Day to draw in the pagans…well the one that they could not prove were heretics and torchure..ah but that is a story in itself.My point being, if religion doesn’t recognize cross gender , why do they recognize Halloween? Maybe it is a night to celebrate the many lives that were lost durning the “Burnng Times”. Hmmm funny I thought one of the 10 commandments was “Thou shalt not Kill” …If you dont like what this mother is putting here “Turn the other cheek” and study the history of religion.
The more we give in to people that aren’t accepting, the less accepting the world will be. I don’t think people should hide who they really are because of other people. I never did, I was always different and an outcast. I was bullied and made fun of a LOT. I was even told I should kill myself. This did NOT ruin my life. If anything, I feel better about myself because I never gave in to please others at the cost of being myself. My mother let me choose my own clothes and creatively express myself. She got a lot of crap for it, but has always been proud of her “unique, trail blazing” daughter. What has matter the most was how accepting my parents, family and friends were, not people who didn’t understand. Sometimes to be great is to be misunderstood. Even Thomas Jefferson said “A little rebellion now and then is a good thing”. This is how revolutions are possible, and how the world can change to be more accepting. We’ve already made progress. This little boy has the unconditional love of his mother. He will grow in love, and spread love. When your parents are wonderful, you are more confidant and can easily push away the insults of others. I would never want my children to feel that they cannot be themselves simply because a few people do not approve.
I would also like to point out that there ARE churches who accept all lifestyles and sexual orientations. I would never belong to a church that didn’t accept someone, or else, it would be against everything Christianity stands for.
You are such a wonderful mother. Thank you for sharing this story :-)
i do not see how publishing title “my son is gay” is any good for a 5 year old who has no understanding of his sexuality and who also is powerless against his mother’s wish to show off how “good and unprejudiced” she is at the expense of her own child. no bravery here. the mother who toys with her son identity should be considering rethinking her parenting. let him decide when he is ready and able to take responsibility for his own actions what about himself he wants to share with the whole world.
OMG DO YOU NOT GET THE POINT HERE? The blog is not about the boy being GAY. It is about people discriminating against anything that doesn’t fit into their close-minded opinions. Shame on you adults for being judgemental on a 5 year old.
And his path, we all choose our own paths in life but people like the women who commented on the boys costume that day make it hard. I know which path theses women are on and all I can say is “BURN BABY BURN.”
Why does it not suprize me that cruel comments were directed towards your child that day? Intimatation, bullying and drawing attention to those who dare to be different has gone on since the beginning of mankind.I have raiseded 4 children in 34 years and have observed those same women over and over again, huddled in a corner, raising their eyebrows, whispering and pointing to a child or parent. The rude ones though,just speak their mind,loud enough for the child and everyone else in hearing distance to hear the comments as they did in this case.
I am concerned about a few things here, first and foremost is how the child reacted to the womens’ comments. It is hard enough to have a child be cruel to another child but for a parent to say it is inexcusable. Is this child now going to be the centre of bullying and teasing because of the lack of compassion and love from these women?
Children’s ears are not closed and their minds are not quite ready to draw their own conclusions about something so they tend to mimic their parents. Given the fact that this was a Christian pre-school, this suggests to me that the parents have some sort of religious background, well maybe not, maybe they hide behind the religion for appearance sake. A true christian would never say that, and neither would a responsible adult.
Just because a child decides he wants to be different and dress in opposite sex gender clothes does not mean he will turn out to be a homosexual, and if he does so what!! Are those parents able to look into the future and predict how their children are going to turn out? If the parents keep up with attitude their children will turn out to be bullies all of their lives, and will not learn to love unconditionally.
As for your son, he thinks for himself and you should be proud of him although at his young age he is already afraid to be different because of his peers. The end of innocence comes far to soon in this day and age and it is sad that children cannot be allowed to use their imagination, dream their dreams and live how they want to live.
When a child is bullied at a young age, they either tend to draw into themselves and shut down or become bullies themselves as they become older. They want to fit in with their peers so they follow the leader which may lead them to alcohol and drugs and other things just so they feel they are wanted.
It disgusts me that parents are so wrapped up in their children and protecting them that they tend to disregard their childrens peers and their feelings.
“IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD.”
BUT
” IT TAKES ONLY TAKES ONLY ONE PERSON TO DESTROY A CHILD”
You make some good points, but I was bullied my whole life, and I never gave in to my peers. I was confidant enough to stand my ground and be myself, and say “they can think that they want, but it matters more want I think of myself”. I never became a bully, and I never became a shut-in. It is possible for kids to rise ABOVE. =D
you’re right. let him :)
I just don’t understand all of you who support this. A child needs its mother to protect them. She is exploiting him, by allowing him to dress like by not guiding him. By not protecting him, from people either way, to attack him. Why do people call evil good? I feel for this child. Why do you all support, his mother allowing him, to go down that path? It just does not make sense. Can’t you see with the eyes of real love, protects, and delivers from evil. Not exploiting, to be that way…..I can’t even write it, because it is wrong.
@elenaramirez: re: “his mother allowing him, to go down that path”. Good point! What kind of parent allows their child to dress up for fun on Halloween. I’ve changed my mind; this is reprehensible. Thank you for helping me see the light.
With the kind of Mother that this boy is lucky enough to have he will no doubt be equipped with enough self worth, love, and all the other necessary tools to be able to take on this and anything else that may actually be problems in his life now and later on. Love, Love, Love, Love to Mom!
@elenaramirez. I agree with you. so how is exposing your son and writing this blog titled “my son is gay” supposed to be good parenting? this is horrible.
More people need to be like you! I’m SO very glad that you spoke your mind and posted this! More power to you! You are a GREAT mother!!!!
Really people…don’t you think you all have inflated her already inflated sense-of-self enough?
you are a hero! more moms should be supportive and intelligent like you. my kids are 2 years old (girl) and 4 months (boy) and i want to be as supportive of them as you have shown here! thanks for putting this “out there” for others to read and think about. The responses from those moms at school show exactly why there is so little tolerance in this world. our kids suffer b/c it is passed on to the next generation. They are in the dark ages. Shame on them.
@Cara
aren’t you judging too?? what happen to what I have been saying? ” don’t we all say things we wish we could take back? but in this case she blogged before the matter was really cleared up”. well, it’s great to blog & say what these women should say or not say. how come it’s hard to answer? what if the women wanted or feels like they wanted to say sorry & she went on air & the net before they could? would you feel like you can say sorry or try to work things out. don’t forget they still will be seeing each other & their kids too? we do no live there. it’s great on the net but what about where she lives? were they really that mean? in her eyes they were & maybe if it happened to us we may see it a lil’ differently. nor would we blog about it. not beacuse we didn’t care what the women said I don’t thing we would have made a big deal yet until we really looked at it then gotten some clarification. is she really wanting the women to say sorry or is she more interested in having people praise her & nums on her precious site? see you guys are not wanting to see the motive here. could the blogger be just as wrong as the women if in the end she has just wanted the hits to her site. I’m not saying that is really true but how is it that it’s so easy to say the women were wrong & not question the blogger too, if even for a lil? or the ones that have posed that same question are haters??
hey you should check out elenaramirez comment, this is the EXACT thing that this mother is talking about encountering. Are you seriously going to sit there and say this is acceptable to put onto a young child, and right in front of them at that. You talk about a childs innocent right etc… etc… This is what we are all talking about.
Shame on those women, not only for their comments but for their obvious reactions. If they’re Christians, they should know that God loves all His children, not just the ones who act the ‘right’ way and put on the ‘right’ clothes and hang around the ‘right’ people. Right is in the eyes of the beholder, and the only beholder that matters sees straight into your heart.
You were absolutely right to defend your kid, and I bet your heart absolutely shines!
God bless!
I have nothing but words of praise for you and your child. I know what is like to grow up not fitting in or trying not to be different from the norm, and like you said, who cares if your son is gay or not. We all want to grow up and be happy, and I’m sure you’ll do whatever it takes to ensure your children grow up to be happy and well adjusted individuals.
I hope the kid has resilience and a sense of humor as he grows up. You just sacrificed him to the gods of ridicule (AKA - the World Wide Web) forever. His image will posted one billion times in cruel forums around the world. Your diatribe won’t. Way to go mom.
Good for you! Maybe we’ll finally begin to raise children who know that it’s okay to not “follow along with everyone else” and be their own person. I congratulate you on your ability to let your son be a kid. Shame on the moms. Their kids will be the bullies of tomorrow. (or today, probably!)
Keep on going mom!
Your son is Blessed to have a mother like you, and I appreicate you sharing this story. :-)
@coriena:
if you’re going to reply then really get my point… I wasn’t stating my issues I held back waaaay much of what I personally went through… just in case you missed it… point being regardless of what happened on that day with her in her conversation with the moms… “we have all said or done something we didn’t wish we said… therefore if the women (who live in her area “not” ours) wanted to make nice… because we have all been there… she blasted this everywhere before it might have gotten straightened out clearly. plus, the women would or should be handled”.
as for me… I can sooo relate but in various ways that most don’t want to see a Christian or nice person can see things the way I see it too. sure it sucked big time not having my friends… point again is… to remember we change throughout the years in our view as Christians & people. the school/church/Christians are human too. not all Christian bashing or implied “the so called Christian will say or do the right thing… does not give us the right to insert “bullying” into the mix without clearly getting to the bottom out it with them in the mom circle where she lives first.
if she did do something other than blog it the next day or so, then sure have at it.. for now, you may have a prob with several imoms in the school or the school it’s self but that’s only after you or they have a lil’ cooling off… or we can blow our tops, & really have a mess on our hands… bottom line “he is not the poster child for this kind of thing yet.. “he’s too young” this should be respected by her & the posters here who wish this is their way to share about gay issues or inserting the bullying topic”.
you made a statement about an assumptions on the phone of a caller sounding white but may be black…. haha that happens to me all the time & I’m black I roll with.
[...] My son is gay [...]
Hi… I just wanted to say that I commend you for being such a real, loving parent. I have many, many friends that have kids who don’t subscribe to gender norms because they want to be individuals (the key point here), and they have placed their kids in environments where they can be around others that are “free.”
I hope that you will do the same for your son. He deserves to be around others that will embrace the free spirit he is.
People like you are going to make this world a better place.
He will be forever known as Daphne
Your son is adorable. I’m very sorry to hear about such an ignorant and negative reaction to a childs costume. I know that you know, but you did the right thing; and even though it seems hopeless at times, those of us who aim for a free world, who understand the importance of nurturing individuality as well as having compassion and respect for others need to be thankful that we are different. We can be much better than A, B, and C, maybe become fully actualized human beings who follow thier own rules and standards of morality and do a fabulous job at it.
To the haters: why hate? Its too soon to tell if her son is gay and if he is- great! Gays pick up a lot of slack while the breeders are busy dominating.
Save this picture and website as well as the heading, “My Son Is Gay”. Make sure the other kids see it when he reaches grade 9. You will be so proud of yourself then….
Save this picture and website as well as the heading, “My Son Is Gay”. Make sure the other kids see it when he reaches grade 9. You will be so proud of yourself then.
Couldnt be written any better. Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!