Boo: Mom, you’re the only one that knows what they’re doing.
Boo: One time I did a magic trick. I was riding my bike, and I lifted my feet, and it kept paddling and paddling. [He thinks pedaling is paddling.]
Squirt: Good night and I love you too! [yelled loudly and frequently after he is supposed to be in bed sleeping]
Peanut and naked Squirt were piling on top of me in my bed while I was trying to have a moment alone, Boo walks in and says: Just so you know, there’s a penis on top of you.
Squirt: Where’s Dad?
CW: At the American Royal with Dennis.
Squirt: Oh, I love the dentist!
Boo: Madiline the Great is in Heaven. [Madiline was my grandmother]
Squirt: SHE’S IN EVAN?!? [Evan is one of Boo's besties]
Squirt: I was bitted by a shark in my friend’s pool. It was my friend’s pet shark. It kilt me. [for the record, he has no friend with a pet shark]
Just found your blog-it is so awesome! I laughed out loud at my desk at the shark comment…hilarious!
Firstly, woman you are awesome. I heart you like no other and your kids sound fabulous, especially Boo.
Secondly, re: Andy. People…we’re going to learn a little lesson today about trolls. Trolls are big, nasty, stinky and they come into your blogs and websites to throw their shit around and to gnaw on schoolchildren and make hateful, controversial posts in the comments. They do these little tricks because they want a treat. Not unlike a fuzzy little poodle dancing around on its hind legs “look at me, look at me!”, it wants attention.
When we ‘feed’ the trolls, they just come back for more.
So people…please. Stop feeding the trolls. Is good for you, k?
Awesome Post, it reminds me of my two little ones.
I love it. I love your blogs. Soooo, subscribing.
I am due in Dec. with #1. I am sure you are so inundated with replies after the Daphne incident you cannot bear to read one more (and probably have about 1,000,000 more important things to do. But seriously. You are my role model. Kick-ass mothering!
Great funnies - love it, and love your post about Boo’s Daphne costume.
Also, I LOVE your nicknames for your kicks. Do they correlate at all to their real names, or just nicknames?
thanks for posting
My kids are all grown up now, but your post reminds me of some of the cute phrases when they were younger. My daughter Sheena loved to ride the alligator (escalator) and those pud muddles were super fun to jump in!
Thanks for sharing…you’ll be glad you have this blog to read once your kids are all grown up. They didn’t have blogs when my kids were little and I wish I had kept a journal.
Followed your Halloween post from a friend on Facebook. You’re an awesome mom, and you have great kids. I’m sure you knew that though. Go Boo!
Let’s all hope there are fewer and fewer “Andy’s” in the world as time goes on, shall we?
There’s a penis on top of you …LMAO
reminds me of the funny stuff my kids came out with when they were younger …
I love your posts! You are a great, accepting mom. . . wish I had a mom like you growing up. You are also a very funny and creative writer.
If my mom was like her when I was growing up I would have slit my wrists.
Then why are you reading her blog? Your mother obviously didn’t teach you “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” It’s a shame your mom wasn’t more like her, you’d probably a kinder, happier person.
You know what is so funny Heather…Alex and Andy are on here more then anyone…for two assholes that have nothing but shit to say because they are both haters of themselves, they sure spend a lot of time here….how funny!!!
Andy, I wish you would have slit your wrists anyway.
Foxx…I am laughing so hard about you wanting to slit Asshole Andy’s wrists….you need to write your own blog!!!! Too funny!!!!
There’s still time
trust me your not that lucky to have an awesome mom like her
comments like yours arent needed
stop being so ignorant and open your eyes and realize that things arent only black and white its a different time
If things were still white and black. Things were so much easier back then.
Ha no kidding. Poor kids.
Hysterical! And how thoughtful of your son to alert you to the penis. You just never know where those things are going to show up, and it’s best to be aware.
I also replied on your “my son is gay” post, but after reading that, and reading your other posts I had to subscribe. As a long time child care worker, I hear a lot of funny things come out of the mouths of children… but reading your “funnies posts” just makes me laugh so hard.
g-d bless your family and especially you and your kids.
Amen sista!
This stuff is so freakin hilarious. I have a four and a half year old and a soon to be three year old (like tomorrow) and these quotes are like something right out of my house. Love LOVE the blog.
Why is your son again referring to a “penis”? He must be gay.
@Andy: You obviously don’t have kids…
Actually I have 3. My son knows better to be dressing like a girl and my daughters don’t dare say anything about a penis being on someone. Nice try though.
Your son “knows better”? Meaning that if your son was so inclined to dress like a girl the only thing he knows is that his parents are intolerant bigots. And there is nothing wrong with children using the proper names for their body parts. Would you have found it so offensive if he had used “wee-wee” or “thingy”? No one is telling you how to raise your children, maybe you should extend the same courtesy to others. If you don’t like what is being said here you are under no obligation to read it.
Yes you dumb cunt. He knows better because it wrong to dress like a girl.
Wow. It’s wrong for a little boy to dress like a girl (an action which is completely neutral, innocent, and lacking in malice), but it’s fine to make assumptions and judgments about people based on innocent actions. It’s wrong to for a child to say ‘penis’ as an honest and accurate description of the human anatomy (again, completely neutral, innocent, and lacking in malice), but it is okay for an adult (a FATHER of DAUGHTERS) to use the word cunt in a malicious attempt to belittle someone by likening them to female genitalia.
I am extremely happy not to know you, and I hope your children never have to discover the limits of your acceptance. And I hope your daughters never hear you use that word in that way, especially if they have any insight into how hateful it is against women.
Andy it is amazing you can write so much on here with your penis in another man’s mouth!
I have just realised by reading these comments I entered a world that made me grateful I could get out. You are a pathetic human. Why do people like you take the time out of your bullshit boring lives to go onto a blog, read it, comment your negativity and keep responding? Do you not realise your proving what a low life scum bag you actually are. I feel bad for you, I really do. You have obviously had little education and no love growing up and feel the need to repel your anger and little knowledge off on these blogs. No one cares for your shit opinions why dont you just start your own hate blog on something you know alot about, like sitting on the couch and watching mainstream TV? loser.
By the way. Thats directed at you Andy. I feel sorry for your children, people like you should be sterile. your just reproducing more narrow minded dumb fuckwits.
@ Andy
With so much negativity in the world, why would you choose to be an asshat? It is a choice you know. You weren’t born that way.
Just sayin’.
;-)
do your kids know you talk like this?? cunt?? what a disgusting word! you say they know whats wrong and right but all sins are the same so what is the difference between someone being gay and you using that kind of fowl small minded language?
Andy,
Why do you think it is wrong for a boy to dress like a girl?
Seriously, I want to know why you hold this view.
Andy: you are a delight! thank you for sharing your provincial, limited views as though they encompassed all that is right or proper! I wanted to comment solely because most of us recognize that a penis is an anatomical structure and that forbidding its discussion may have negative repercussions on the ultimate maturity of children.
Right on Dave! You are so smart :) That is correct-o moondo, a penis is a body part,no big deal to call it by it’s name,and to mention it as well. Why should there be shame about our bodies. No way I’m not buying that lame-o human shaming crude.
Sarah’s son is just 5. It would be nice for you to consider it.
shut the f*** up you damn hater.
@ Andy
Andy you must be Alex’s brother!
maybe he is trying to say peanut, but said penis instead if you have kids then you would know that the words don’t always come out as they are supposed to
Andy, it’s actually sad that you are questioning your own sexuality. People that are so unhappy with themselves are usually struggling with something internally. We are all here for you, just come out already!!!!
So funny!!!!! :)
Vanessa Rima
http://www.fashionissima.com
I love it! I like “shorties”, we call them “the ankle biters”. =D
I love that your children called your mom “Madiline The Great”! How awesome! And I am glad she is in Evan! God Bless Miss Lady.
A friend posted the link in FB of MY SON IS GAY , and I had to read it . I love it !!!! well written and clear . I subscribed , you are awesome !!!
Your kids are way too funny!! Adorable. P.S.: Read your Daphne costume post, then thought I’d see what the rest of your blog is like; it’s now one of my new faves!
Oh, and I’m sure there are many other people who were drawn to your blog the same way I was, so congratulations for that. It’s positive people like you who deserve a voice, and whether you’re talking about something a little more serious, or posting about your day, or sharing some silly things your kids have said, I hope you keep at it.
agreed; sounds like you’ve got some fun boogers there, and the sense of humor they deserve.
So, you have been discovered! Congratulations on being freshly pressed and, no doubt, watching yours stats go crazy. I have subscribed!
These are so cute. it is so nice to document some of the funny things they say.
I like the one about I love the dentist! (my kids do too! He’s in Liberty and an extra hour drive for us but we’ll probably keep him!)
Like the other comments, I too had to keep reading after the halloween post. My 20 month old loves playing with barbies and putting my shoes on and trying to put on my bra. You re-affirmed my belief that its ok to play with dolls and put on a piece of foreign clothing as a boy. Thank you!
I have four boys, Beautiful Gorgeous and Vegas are just two of the nicknames my seven year old third son goes by. He sounds just like your son and like you we are raising him to be who he is not what society thinks he should be. His favorite color has been PINK since he was 2 years old. His past Halloween costumes have been the Pink Power Ranger (2 years in a row), a Duke Cheerleader last year and a very effeminate hippie this year. Thanks for posting this and I cannot wait to show N the picture of your son in his costume. He is gonna love it. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all “normal.”
I love reading your blog after I read your Halloween post. I have five boys at home and it makes me feel happy that I’m not the only parent out there that goes through all the crazy and weired things that they do and say. keep it up :)
I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog since I saw your post about “Daphne”, and all the wonderful things you said about him and the subtly bigoted mothers. :)
They didn’t sound so subtle about their bigotry to me. Sadly, Im not suprised about this story-this stuff goes on every day, and not just in the midwest. It’s great that you speak up for your children!
LOL I also started reading the old blog posts after I got sucked in by your Halloween post! Your kids are awesome. You are awesome. You are teaching them to live life with humor and grace, and encouraging their active imaginations. What more could any child want?! You rock!!!
“just so you know, there’s a penis on top of you” HILARIOUS!
Of course I had to go and read more of your blog after reading the whole Halloween thing.
I love these! I was LOL’ing the shark!
OMG! I needed a laugh tonight & you provided . . . as always! Thx & (((hugs)))