Nerdy Apple Bottom

Cop’s Wife: Hey - made a trip to Costco without getting your list. I’ll have to go back next week so let me know what you need. I did pick up your usual tampons though. (posted on John K’s wall)

John K: Thank Christ! Its a bloody mess over here. OK, so here’s what i need:

1) the liver of a young pygmy, preferably vegetarian, should be in season (i’m making
2) 105 pairs of leather work gloves, they come in packs of 35 so get 3… (don’t ask don’t tell).
3) A very large vat of cottage cheese, you know… 5 gallon drum like usual
4) 7 or so Caterpillars, they’re in the back on the top shelf by the mice (mice eat caterpillars, cats eat mice, alligators eat cats, we eat hot dogs… circle of life)
5) 21 midget size industrial garbage cans (thats not a dig at Harper, despite her lack of height for a 20 year old) i just need somewhere to put the midgets after the party… they come in packs of 3 so get 7
6) eggs, a whole shit ton of eggs, i mean like enough to feed 21 hungry midgets, who you forgot were sealed in a garbage can for a week and don’t like Pâté
7) Season 2 of “Who’s your daddy?” on DVD, not Blue Ray, who’s got money to upgrade to Blue Ray, for fucks sake we’re in a recession!
7.5) i think i might be in season 2, if my photo’s on the back burn all copies and forget this conversation
8) a dark horse, not the white horse, wink wink
9) grape now and laters, all you can carry
10) Diesel fuel, not quite enough to fill 21 industrial garbage cans, but enough to cause a scare should an uprising occur

that should do it this week, unless you find an albino wombat with good teeth.

thanks,
k

Cop’s Wife: You complete me.

John K: Finally! i satisfied a women… its too bad you’re married to such a cool guy (who carries a gun ALL THE TIME)

Cop’s Wife: And let’s be clear, those midgets would get in the way as well. ;)

John K: true