Bubba: Can I bring my purse with me?
Bubba: Something’s been bothering my penis. It’s been bothering my penis for a loooonnnggg time.
Slim: And there’s my cage. (said while looking at a photo of himself in the dog’s kennel which he climbed into on his own)
Bubba: And maybe later I can get a tattoo.
Bubba: Blockulars (instead of binoculars)
Bubba: I love giving people tattoos. Maybe I’ll be a tattoo guy when I grow up.
Cop’s Wife: Just sit right there and try not to vomit for a minute
Goldilocks: “Yes I did [get my message], was just going to text you back, but just horny phone on the charger…” – turns out her iPod auto-corrected her attempt to type “got my” and turned it into “horny.”
Oops, that was supposed to say Slim.
NIIIICE…ugh, that is too funny! And I usually catch those iPhone auto-fixers, but didn’t get this one until it actually sent!
I loooove the “bothering the penis” one, too! And I had to re-tell your remote story about “One thing left to do” to Kyle, that Bubbs is just too funny!